Gord's Comic/Graphic Novel Blog

Reviews of graphic novels and comics

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Movie Review: Spider Man 3

I finally saw it. I hated the hype so I waited 2 years later to watch it. Not worth the wait.

What I liked: Jonah Jaimeson , Elizabeh Banks as Ms. Brant , ... thats about it.

What I disliked: Everything. From the run on 5 minute introduction that annoyed me caz I are half my popcorn just watching opening credits. WHy the fuck do they have opening credits , thats what the closing credits are for you morons.

I hated the overall mashed pile of story plots all stickied together for a 2 hour flick. Two of the three bad guys deserve their own movies.. the third could've been just a opening cameo caz he's not really that interesting (Sandman).

Harry who takes on the persona of the Goblin. Didnt like the costume design , you couldnt even tell he was suppose to be the goblin. Shoudl've had the mask. That was an important story dont you think? Harry looking to avenge his father's death on his best friend Peter Parker whom he happens ot know is Spider Man!!! toss in Mary Jane and you have Spider Man 3 stand alone.

Venom is also deserving of a Spidey Villian movie to himself. The whole concept of Venom and taking over Parker , and taking over Brock for a final confrontation should've had its own movie to itself. Maybe they woudlnt have to dumb down Brock's "You humiliated me" reason to wreak havoc.. couldve been more intense and thwarting.

Sandman is part of the old school family of villians for Spidey. Aside from the long time sentimentality , they are one dimensional and somewhat aloof from intriging. Rhino , Scorpion , Vulture , Sandman , Electro , Mysterio , ...etc There's so many. The writing would have to be really good to make these old schoolers work.. unfrotunately it didnt work here for Sandman.

Mary Jane might be one of my most disliked leading ladies. SOmething about this character that bugs me.

They dumbed down Gwen Stacy , she's actually a prominant fixture in Parker's life. She takes over for a long time as Parker's love interest , not just one half date. Something they should've considered if whats her face doesnt return for Mary Jane's role.. the girlfriend in superhero movies are replaceable. Except Lois Lane perhaps.

Betty Brant is smoking hot. I love Elizabeth Banks.

Plots:

Harry wants revenge on Parker.

Peter and Mary Jane fight and bicker.

Sandman wants to find a cure ofr his daughter and Parker wants to avenge his uncle's death on him.

Venom takes over Parker , then Brock , then dies? a living speace being that never gets explored. Venom is suppome to hitch back on Mar Jane's fiancee from SM2 from one of his space trips. Thats how Venom gets introduced to earth.


Bad News: I hate this movie and what it did to the series. It stinks.

Good News: Its fixable. Spider Man 4 must redeem itself with a simplistic yet in depth story line and more focus on the main characters.

I hate you Spider Man 3.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Rant: Fucking Moron Bullshit Fundraisers for Bullshit charities

You ever get invited to a "fundraiser" for some charitable cause? being held at a local bar , you get a ticket with a drink or maybe its some other kind of event? You feel like your contributing to something important and the event holders think their saints. Yeah , let me give you a perspective based on reality with some common sense and intelligence sprinkled on top....

These charitable saints wanna raise money for something thats important to them right? so they organize a event at a bar and you all go down caz its for a good cauze. Yet nobody ever checks to see if the money actually gets there and how much of it? and yet we drink our own guilt for being shallow douche bags caz we manage to donate 50 cents of a $10 ticket to that charity. Are we really that dumb , shallow , selfish , stupid , moronic , idiotic , fucked , retarded , ...??????????

-How about this.. if you are holding a public fundraiser , invite a rep down to accept a cheque you scamtard! I wanna see how much of the money actually goes to this charity.

-How about this to all you goody good idiots whom think you're doing good.. instead of going to a bar and getting drunk like you would anyways ... how about VOLUNTEER somewhere. You wanna help? get your hands dirty you fucking stupid fucktard. OR donate straight to the charity that requires using actual paper money or paper cheque. The change in the ashtray is still good money but are you helping a charity or a squeegy kid?!? moron.

-How about a real charity... enough with these adult men's or women's beer league teams needing money to go to out of town tournament. Nice priorities you fucking idiots. I dont wanna donate money or time to the local orphanage but I want to help send you guys to the Okanagon for the big beer league tourny that you could pay ofr yourselves , idiots. When we were young and poor , sure lets organize money raisers but these 30 yr old adult beer leaguers.. GET A LIFE YOU LOSERS.

-How about these low life scumbags who organize a charity event and pocket a percent of the money if not all of it. They justify it caz its "hard work".. ITS CHARITY YOU FUCKING IDIOT. THE POINT OF CHARITY IS TO DO GOOD WITH ZERO GODDAMN EXPECTATIONS IN RETURN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You fucking moron.

All you fucking morons out there , if this fits you.. then Im talking to you , MORON.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Movie Review: Rambo IV

I finally saw it. This movie is awesome.

Is it a great stand alone movie? of course not

does it take Rambo to a new level ? no

Is this a Oscar worthy epic? no

why do you rate it so awesome? caz

Firstly the Rambo series is not a movie to take seriously. Its abut viscious violence.. this movie updates the gorgeousness of gun deaths! This is actually how Rambo shoudl've been.

First Blood is a great classic. It they were gonna sequel it with mindless gun killing violence then Rambo IV is what Rambo is about.

I dont even give a shit about the story or plot.. guns , blood , violence , .. it was awesome. Best Rambo sequel bar none. This should've been Rambo III not that middle eastern pile of dung we got in the late 80s.

Typical bad guys get away with haneous crimes like brutal rapes , murders and torture and the good guys one punch them and then call the cops. Yipee. Rambo blows heads into skull fragments like taco chips dipped into salsa... AWESOME. Rambo shoots extra bullets into decapitaed skulls just caz it feels fuckin good... AWESOME.

Some bible thumping missionaries think they can save the world with hugs and kisses and they get their limbs blown off like dogshit on haloween night... AWESOME. Where's jesus now? thats right , Jesus = John Rambo.

I also love the fact they didnt reboot the series for vast audiences , they made this for hardcore Rambo fans. It was a homage to Rambo.. thank you. Im not even a diehard Rambo fan but I did like it a lot as a kid and this movie was a like uipdated version of it for modern times as an adult.

Must see for Rambo fans. The directors cut is supposedly coming out and is suppose ot add more depth to it. Only icing on the cake.

Otherwise you will cry like a pussy and complain its too violent. Go hug a tree you fruitcake

About Me

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My name is Gord and I blog comic and graphic novel reviews for Horror Happy Hour. Im just a passionate fanboy since the glorious 80s. Im not a writer as you can tell with my butchering of the engrish language just love geeking it up with comics. Horror Happy Hour is a devoted group of horror enthusiasts started on Facebook , website to come.. and I do the comics commentary. Woot woot